Last line challenge: Goodbye.
Author's note: yes, I'm cheating a bit.
"Good buy, Giles!" Anya exclaimed, reading the inbound shipping manifest. "Because our inventory really needed the shot in the arm of 200 crystal skull paperweights."
He snatched the paperwork from her. "What? I only ordered twenty."
"But why buy any at all? There are only so many suckers out there who buy this kind of crap. Call the wholesaler at once and cancel."
"It, um, wasn't the regular wholesaler. It was more a sort of, um, special supplier."
"Special blonde or special brunette?"
A second delivery truck pulled up outside, and then an eighteen-wheeler.
"Giles, what have you done?"
TITLE: A Different Kind of Watcher
LENGTH: 650 words
The end of "Venus Flytrap" is --
Digging in his heels, Giles pushed with his shoulders but to no avail, and he became frantically aware that all his efforts were useless and he was about to die.
( Stop screaming, it's not helping )
“And the bastard never saw it coming.”
Giles had given up not-wincing hours ago. Anya didn't seem to notice. He did still believe he had a chance of escape, but before he could make good on it, she'd started into another story.
“And then there was the death of a thousand cuts. Of course I waited, oh, about ten minutes between each cut and poured salt into the wounds. The wisher wanted me to stop, you wouldn’t believe how lily-livered some women can be, but of course once the wish is made, it has to run its full course. The one after that was boring. I just pulled out some guy’s intestines. Did you know how long intestines are? I could have knit a sweater with that thing, I mean, if I knew how to knit. Do you think I should knit something for Xander?”
Giles imagined knitted intestines and shuddered.
“Oh, not with an intestine. They’re too thick. Imagine the needles you’d need for that sweater. It’s just, well, I was reading this magazine and it said that girlfriends knit and sew and bake cakes. Do you think Xander would want me to knit?”
That was it. A vengeance demon was bad enough. He wasn’t about to try handling an insecure girlfriend. “Ah, I just remembered, I have an appointment. I’ll be out the rest of the day. The shop is yours.”
LENGTH: 100 words
SUMMARY: Season Six, maybe a step off canon. In the Magic Box. She asked him why he was annoyed. He had a lot of reasons.
( '...letting Xander and Dawn speak Latin in front of the books' )
Title: That Old World Charm
Characters: Giles, Anya
Setting: Season 5
Word Count: 100
Disclaimer: For fun, not profit.
Sometimes his business partner drove him crazy. Okay, if he were honest, she always drove him crazy - her constant babble, the extremely long lunch hours, her lack of filter, but he kept her on because without her, he’d surely have made a hash of things trying to keep the store afloat by himself.
Anything for the sale, she’d said. The hypocrisy! As if she ever helped the customers. He turned his glare on Anya, but she ignored him, eyeing her prey.
“Just turn on that Old World charm and that woman will buy the most expensive useless item in here.”
Summary: Sexual humor based on Anya's misunderstandings of language.
Note: Written for a prompt at Giles Shorts: Shopping
Note: Written for a prompt at Open on Sunday: tender
Characters: Giles, Anya
Disclaimer: They aren't mine, not yet, but they will be … once I've taken over the world. Bwah-ha-ha!
Title: A Minor Skirmish
Characters: Giles, Anya, Xander
A Minor Skirmish
“I beg your pardon,” Giles whipped off his glasses.
Anya sniped back, “You heard me.”
“An,” Xander left the table full of giggling ladies. “Remember that list of things not to say to your boss?”
“I’m not saying it to him as my employer. I expressing my feelings to a partner, friend, and someone I’ve spent countless hours doing marketing research to help.”
“Anya,” Giles sighed. “It was merely a suggestion.”
“I assure you those displays are arranged perfectly in order to attract the most cash. Thank you for your suggestion, but I repeat… Get stuffed.”
Giles hid his smile.