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giles_shortsTitle: The Ultimate Trap
Author: Kat Lee
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Character/Pairing: Giles/Buffy
Rating: PG/K+
Challenge/Prompt:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
giles_shorts: Trapped
Warning(s): None
Word Count: 716
Date Written: 21 November, 2015
Summary:
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to their rightful owners, not the author, and are used without permission.
He's trapped himself. Giles doesn't like to admit it, even in the own recesses of his mind, but he knows he's done the deed, like every Watcher before him. He's trapped himself again in his life. It's nothing new. He's been setting traps and falling into them since he was a lad. He trapped himself in wanting to attain his father's approval, then in falling into such a dark place and his life that he prefers to leave that trap completely behind him, then in his books and training, and now, in this, in . . . her.
He's not entirely certain when it happened, or even when he realized it the first time, but he knows this is the most steadfast and certain trap yet. He looks forward to seeing her far more than he should. Her blonde hair shines brighter than the sun, her smile is more radiant than the stars, and her laughter . . . Her laughter is the most entrancing, beautiful sound he's ever heard. There are days he feels like he needs to hear her laugh just once more even more than he needs his next breath.
It isn't right. Nothing about their situation is as it should be. Nothing is right, and yet, it's all been done before and will be done again and again long after they're gone. He hates to think of that inevitable time. He's believed he's lost her twice now, but each time, she has returned to him. Each time, she has found him again and restored his faith in her, in himself, in the whole world around them. Each time, too, she's dug him deeper into his prison.
It's not her fault. He tells himself every day it is his own. He knew the repercussions of working so closely with a Slayer. He was warned long before he accepted the mantel of her Watcher, and although he knew well what it would do to him, and what it started doing the very first day he met her, he refused to give up the position. He refused to give her up, and he still does.
But he must. She will never grow this way. She will never be free to be her own woman, her own warrior. She will always have him to whom to run. He will always want to take care of her every need. He will always want to love her, and as bad as this cage is for him, it is far worse for her. She knows she is unlucky in love, but she does not understand why.
The bond between Watcher and Slayer can not be broken not by the enemy, not by the Council, not by any who would attempt to court the Slayer, not even by time or distance. He's bought that ticket for England. He knows he must return home defeated and alone. He must leave her. It is the only way she might learn to live without him. But he already knows he will return.
Like a moth to the flame, the Watcher always comes after the Slayer. They love each other deeply, but she burns him in the end. She burns him slowly to death. She doesn't harm him herself, but when she is taken, and she will always be taken from him, he pines so that eventually Death has no choice but to find and release him. That, Giles knows, will be his release from his prison. Only Death's kiss will free him.
He wonders, watching her laughing and talking with her friends in the bright daylight, sunlight bouncing over that luscious, blonde hair that always curls his fingers with need, how long it will take him to find her in the afterlife, but he has no doubt that he will find her. He will find her again, and only then will he feel complete. Even in Death, with her presence in his life, or afterlife rather, he will feel complete, but he never, ever will he tell her.
It's bad enough that one of them must be imprisoned. He'll never cage her, too. He'll never tell her. He'll never voice what he feels. He'll never say, "I love you," even if he thinks it every time he sees her smile fill his world.
The End
Author: Kat Lee
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Character/Pairing: Giles/Buffy
Rating: PG/K+
Challenge/Prompt:
giles_shorts: TrappedWarning(s): None
Word Count: 716
Date Written: 21 November, 2015
Summary:
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to their rightful owners, not the author, and are used without permission.
He's trapped himself. Giles doesn't like to admit it, even in the own recesses of his mind, but he knows he's done the deed, like every Watcher before him. He's trapped himself again in his life. It's nothing new. He's been setting traps and falling into them since he was a lad. He trapped himself in wanting to attain his father's approval, then in falling into such a dark place and his life that he prefers to leave that trap completely behind him, then in his books and training, and now, in this, in . . . her.
He's not entirely certain when it happened, or even when he realized it the first time, but he knows this is the most steadfast and certain trap yet. He looks forward to seeing her far more than he should. Her blonde hair shines brighter than the sun, her smile is more radiant than the stars, and her laughter . . . Her laughter is the most entrancing, beautiful sound he's ever heard. There are days he feels like he needs to hear her laugh just once more even more than he needs his next breath.
It isn't right. Nothing about their situation is as it should be. Nothing is right, and yet, it's all been done before and will be done again and again long after they're gone. He hates to think of that inevitable time. He's believed he's lost her twice now, but each time, she has returned to him. Each time, she has found him again and restored his faith in her, in himself, in the whole world around them. Each time, too, she's dug him deeper into his prison.
It's not her fault. He tells himself every day it is his own. He knew the repercussions of working so closely with a Slayer. He was warned long before he accepted the mantel of her Watcher, and although he knew well what it would do to him, and what it started doing the very first day he met her, he refused to give up the position. He refused to give her up, and he still does.
But he must. She will never grow this way. She will never be free to be her own woman, her own warrior. She will always have him to whom to run. He will always want to take care of her every need. He will always want to love her, and as bad as this cage is for him, it is far worse for her. She knows she is unlucky in love, but she does not understand why.
The bond between Watcher and Slayer can not be broken not by the enemy, not by the Council, not by any who would attempt to court the Slayer, not even by time or distance. He's bought that ticket for England. He knows he must return home defeated and alone. He must leave her. It is the only way she might learn to live without him. But he already knows he will return.
Like a moth to the flame, the Watcher always comes after the Slayer. They love each other deeply, but she burns him in the end. She burns him slowly to death. She doesn't harm him herself, but when she is taken, and she will always be taken from him, he pines so that eventually Death has no choice but to find and release him. That, Giles knows, will be his release from his prison. Only Death's kiss will free him.
He wonders, watching her laughing and talking with her friends in the bright daylight, sunlight bouncing over that luscious, blonde hair that always curls his fingers with need, how long it will take him to find her in the afterlife, but he has no doubt that he will find her. He will find her again, and only then will he feel complete. Even in Death, with her presence in his life, or afterlife rather, he will feel complete, but he never, ever will he tell her.
It's bad enough that one of them must be imprisoned. He'll never cage her, too. He'll never tell her. He'll never voice what he feels. He'll never say, "I love you," even if he thinks it every time he sees her smile fill his world.
The End
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