Aunt Clara's Doorknobs

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

Title: Aunt Clara's Doorknobs
Fandom: BtVS
Summary: Andrew has been reading the Malleus Maleficarum. Too bad it's wrong.
Note: Written for a prompt at Giles Shorts: demon. How I got doorknobs from that I don't know.
Rating: PG
Characters: Giles, Andrew
Disclaimer: They aren't mine, not yet, but they will be … once I've taken over the world. Bwah-ha-ha!

Xander had boarded the windows with planks. The Potentials were training in the backyard. Andrew came wandering down the stairs. “Giles, what kind of doorknobs do witches prefer?”

Giles was afraid to ask but even more concerned that Andrew would take this to Willow next. “Doorknobs?”

“Yeah, I'm sort of afraid to touch them. I'm not sure which kinds to avoid. Do witches like those glass ones or is polished metal better? Oh, and what about the color? Is silver better than gold? Or maybe they like those long handles.”

“Please tell me you haven't been reading the Malleus Maleficarum.”

Andrew's eyes skittered about the room. “But it's old and the books you use are old.”

“I'm going to tell you this once, Andrew. The Malleus is a load of hogwash. Witches do not … pleasure themselves with doorknobs. Demons do not have cold, er, members.”

“But on Bewitched Aunt Clara collected doorknobs.”

Giles pulled off his glasses and started cleaning them. “Andrew, drop it. I'm fairly certain I do not want Willow turning you into a toad.”

“But let's just say for example …”

“Andrew! Stop or I will turn you into a toad myself.”

Comments

[salustra.livejournal.com]

Very cute and funny.

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

Excellent. I was going for funny.

[katleept.livejournal.com]

A brilliant twist! LOL Gotta love Andrew!

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I wanted to write something funny and he just popped to mind. ;-)

Sweet kitties. Siblings?

[katleept.livejournal.com]

Yup, and thank you! :-) They're two of the four boys with whom Tiger blessed us. Sadly, we've only the mother and two of the boys left. The others were stolen from us by murderous humans.

Eliot and Medes are the two in the picture. Medes looks just like his father. Eliot's the one who looks Siamesish. Medes was the first of the boys taken from us; Eliot and Chancy, who looks practically purely Siamese, are the ones we still have.

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

Murderous humans? Ugh!

My two cats passed away from old age and ill health and that was hard enough. They looked like calicoes but sounded Siamese. They had yowly voices.

[katleept.livejournal.com]

I lost my eldest last year to complications from old age. It almost killed me. She would have been 21 this past October; I'd had her practically all her life and for most of mine.

Nothing's ever the same.

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

I got mine as adults. They belonged to a friend who couldn't keep them and were strays, momma cat and daughter, before that. Still I did have them for a good number of years. It was distressing to lose them.

[horrorfangirl.livejournal.com]

I don't think Willow would forgive Giles if he turned Andrew into a frog, not because she likes him a whole lot but because she's afraid of frogs. Haha.

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

That's why I made it toads, because they're completely different critters from frogs. *rolls over laughing*

[littleotter73]

LOL! Oh Andrew... always going the one step beyond the appropriate. Very nice!

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I don't write Andrew often, but he's always fun to play with.

[il_mio_capitano]

Take 5 extra points for mentioning Bewitched. This made me smile.

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

Thanks. My work here is done. ;-)